Grammy Recap

I see no reason why The Fray, Death Cab For Cutie, Keane, or even The Pussycat Dolls should feel compelled to continue their careers as musicians. "My Humps" won a Grammy. Forget the Police reunion, who cares about the Dixie Chicks, and Justin Timberlake can go videotape his own life. This is the lead story. The integrity of the Grammys, considered the music industry's highest honor, is in real trouble. The fact that this sorry excuse for art was even nominated was despicable enough. My four-year-old students routinely come up with more innovative hooks. I just don't see how anyone involved in the voting can take himself seriously anymore.

Let's face it, the Grammys, in my adult lifetime, have rarely actually been about the best music. Occasionally there are albums, songs and artists honored that received widespread acclaim, but it's mostly a reaffirmation of stardom for the most successful of successful radio juggernauts. And you could argue it's becoming more of a political, statement-sending scene after last night, when the Dixie Chicks rode their anti-Bush, anti-conformatism message to five awards. Don't think the industry voted for them solely because the music was the best. It wasn't.

And if the Grammys suddenly embraced the most critically-lauded artists of the year -the TV On the Radios, the Decemberists, Joanna Newsomes - the ratings would be awful. Give us the Mary J. Bliges, the U2s, the Timberlakes, and people are happy.

That's why it's no big deal to me that the Chicks won. It's a nice honor for them obviously, will look good on their resume, and should land them a Rolling Stone cover, but anyone who knows music shouldn't instantly crown them as 'the band' of the moment. Anyway, it still makes for a good watch, although it ran a bit long last night (did we really need three and a half hours?) and the performances are always interesting. Let's analyze the winners.

Album of the Year: "Taking the Long Way," The Dixie Chicks

Personally, I didn't love any of these albums front to back. The Red Hot Chili Peppers was by far my least favorite. I felt the double album was indulgent and really dragged. And there's nothing new or progressive on the CD; we've heard this before from RHCP. John Mayer is talented for sure, but I just can't get over his facial expressions and strange noises. Timberlake's album was inconsistent at best. A couple solid tunes, but not worthy of the title. Gnarls Barkley, in my opinion, had the best case. An innovative sound paced by the unquestionable song of the year. Outkast was rewarded for similar accomplishments a couple years ago, although their album holds up much stronger than St. Elsewhere will. Let's put it this way: can everyone you know sing "Not Ready To Make Nice," the Chicks signature track? I can't. But can they sing "Crazy?" Yes, and I bet they loved it.

Record of the Year: "Not Ready to Make Nice," The Dixie Chicks

The biggest job of the night. No sound argument could possibly conclude that "Crazy" was not the song of the year. Never. James Blunt does not belong in this category. One of the most annoying, cliched songs of the year. And you knew Corrinne Bailey Rae wasn't winning. Mary J. Blige is an accomplished R&B artist, but would be a bit of a reach for a best record win.

Best New Artist: Carrie Underwood

She's a fine country singer. The others are terrible. Next.

Other tidbits:

Christina Aguilera rightfully won best female pop vocal performance for "Ain't No Other Man." She also provided the most hair-raising performance of the night, singing James Brown's "It's A Man's World."

Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennett won for a duet of Stevie's "For Once In My Life." Great song. Which Stevie wrote when he was SEVENTEEN. Unbelievable.

Any time the Brian Setzer Orchestra gets denied in the Best Pop Instrumental Performance category, I'm saddened.

How John Mayer wins Best Pop Vocal Album over XTina and T'Lake is astonishing.

Listen to these nominees for Best Solo Rock Performance: Bob Dylan (winner), Tom Petty and Neil Young. I'm sorry, I must have lost my 8-track player.

Slayer won, which is always nice.

The Killers' "When You Were Young" is far and away the best and most identifiably 'rock' song in the Best Rock Song category and it upsets me that a power rock song like that gets beaten by a tired RHCP song about, you guessed it, California.

Somehow Bon Jovi was nominated, and won, in a country music category (Best Country Collaboration with Vocal).

John Lithgow was nominated for Best Musical Album for Children. Who knew.

Jimmy Carter, yes, that Jimmy Carter won for Best Spoken Word Album, over the likes of Bill Maher, Al Franken, and Bob Newhart.

Somehow the soundtrack for "Walk the Line" and the score for "Memoirs of a Geisha" were still elligible. They both won.